Just a quick thought about one segment on the Raw 15th anniversary show for now.
When Eric Bischoff was talking, he was interrupted by Y2J. Bischoff, in an attempt to diss Jericho, pretended to forget his name...
Bischoff: Who are you again? Chris... Chris...
Meanwhile backstage...
Sunny: OH CHRIS! WAAAAAA!!!!
Vince: DON'T SAY BENOIT...
A potential disaster. I could hear Vince's sigh of relief despite watching a recorded version of the show and being thousands of miles away.
Wednesday, 12 December 2007
Saturday, 8 December 2007
You mean it's taped?!
I don't usually get a chance to watch Smackdown. Though this week I didn't get a chance to watch Raw, and therefore made effort to watch Smackdown this week.
Whilst watching it, I was absolutely positive that this blog would be about MVP's bouncer at his VIP lounge. When Michael Hayes made his way to the ring, said bouncer moved the velvet rope so that the Freebird (Who was obviously on the guestlist), could get into the ring. However, unlike most good bouncers, this one decided to let the patrons of the VIP lounge fight it out for some reason. Was he receiving fellatio from an underage girl who wanted access to the VIP lounge at the same time? If not, he better have an equally poor excuse.
But then the gross misconduct continues as he lets Rey Mysterio breeze past him like he was the guard at the gate on Monty Python and the Holy Grail who lets Sir Lancelot slip into the castle to slaughter thousands of wedding guests after killing his mate.
Despite this, I bet we see the bouncer next week. Hopefully though, surrounded by glamourous, scantily-clad call girls.
My main complaint about this week's Smackdown though, came in the main event. The first thing that irritated me was that Edge was disqualified for bringing a steel chair into the ring. He didn't even use it. Next week, he'll get disqualified for looking at his opponent. Then, as he and Batista stared down, the inevitable appearance of The Undertaker happened. But hang on, something seems familiar about this throat-hold-spear thing. Maybe it's something I saw last week? Yes! That's it! The same thing happened last week! Except instead of the Undertaker getting speared by Batista, the Undertaker got speared this week. No. Wait. It was something else that seemed familiar. Oh yeah, that's it. THEY USED LAST WEEK'S FOOTAGE AND PASSED IT OFF AS THIS WEEKS'.
The Undertaker held Edge by the throat, and in the split second it took for Batista to spear the dead man, Edge had miraculously changed his ring attire. Amazing! What made them do that? Why couldn't they just show the footage from that week's tapings?
STOOPID.
Whilst watching it, I was absolutely positive that this blog would be about MVP's bouncer at his VIP lounge. When Michael Hayes made his way to the ring, said bouncer moved the velvet rope so that the Freebird (Who was obviously on the guestlist), could get into the ring. However, unlike most good bouncers, this one decided to let the patrons of the VIP lounge fight it out for some reason. Was he receiving fellatio from an underage girl who wanted access to the VIP lounge at the same time? If not, he better have an equally poor excuse.
But then the gross misconduct continues as he lets Rey Mysterio breeze past him like he was the guard at the gate on Monty Python and the Holy Grail who lets Sir Lancelot slip into the castle to slaughter thousands of wedding guests after killing his mate.
Despite this, I bet we see the bouncer next week. Hopefully though, surrounded by glamourous, scantily-clad call girls.
My main complaint about this week's Smackdown though, came in the main event. The first thing that irritated me was that Edge was disqualified for bringing a steel chair into the ring. He didn't even use it. Next week, he'll get disqualified for looking at his opponent. Then, as he and Batista stared down, the inevitable appearance of The Undertaker happened. But hang on, something seems familiar about this throat-hold-spear thing. Maybe it's something I saw last week? Yes! That's it! The same thing happened last week! Except instead of the Undertaker getting speared by Batista, the Undertaker got speared this week. No. Wait. It was something else that seemed familiar. Oh yeah, that's it. THEY USED LAST WEEK'S FOOTAGE AND PASSED IT OFF AS THIS WEEKS'.
The Undertaker held Edge by the throat, and in the split second it took for Batista to spear the dead man, Edge had miraculously changed his ring attire. Amazing! What made them do that? Why couldn't they just show the footage from that week's tapings?
STOOPID.
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Saved
At last, it has happened. Since I first speculated over two months ago, Chris Jericho made his return to the WWE.
Over those two months, I've been saying how "imminent" his return was. Such is the power of Jericho that he can make me mark out without even being on TV for several years.
Such was my anticipation for his return that it was impossible to not have a shiver and feel the hairs on my arms stand on end when the countdown to his entrance began.
From the second he opened his mouth, I was saying his catchphrases along with him just like I did when I was 10 years old. Wrestlers have come and gone in that time, so has my interest in wrestling in general. But now with the very wrestler whose t-shirt was the first wrestling shirt I ever owned back on TV, things have gotten good.
Over those two months, I've been saying how "imminent" his return was. Such is the power of Jericho that he can make me mark out without even being on TV for several years.
Such was my anticipation for his return that it was impossible to not have a shiver and feel the hairs on my arms stand on end when the countdown to his entrance began.
From the second he opened his mouth, I was saying his catchphrases along with him just like I did when I was 10 years old. Wrestlers have come and gone in that time, so has my interest in wrestling in general. But now with the very wrestler whose t-shirt was the first wrestling shirt I ever owned back on TV, things have gotten good.
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Talentswap
So since I last wrote, Smackdown and ECW have openly been trading talent. However, what nobody's announced is how Smackdown talent is showing up on Raw. Rumours are abound of the abolition of talent-exclusive brands. If this is true, then it's fantastic. It would mean that anybody could pop up at any time on any show. It would also boost ratings if storylines can be shown over two or three shows - that is to say that viewers would have to tune in to three shows a week rather than just one to see progressions in storylines with their favourite wrestlers. Bonus time.
But what good have we seen from the talent swapping as of late? Well, obviously, as was evident last night, Batista's sucky mic-work is now broadcast live and un-edited. What better way to open Raw last night, than to hear a former sex-addict grunting into a microphone...
"Uruuagghhhh!...
Ohhhh! YEAHHH!
Ughh!
It's good to be back on RAW!"
I record all wrestling and watch it in my own time. I tend to skip promos (Especially Dave's) and watch matches if they have good wrestlers in them. But for some reason, I thought about Dave's BASKETBALL rant a few weeks ago and could actually sense gold coming from Dave's verbal diarrhoea.
When explaining the concept of Hell in a Cell, Batista tells us that "Weapons aren't only welcomed.... [looooooooooooong pause]........ They're allowed". GENIUS. In the long pause, you could see that Dave realised that he just used his punchline in his set-up. He looked as if he'd shat himself. Then, as he eventually got the final line out, if you watch it frame-by-frame, you can actually pin-point the exact second where Batista swallows his pride to deliver the last line so coyly. He then held his nose and covered his face, as if he had a stress headache. He didn't move for 5 seconds as he gave people watching time to digest what he actually just said and ask each other "He didn't just say what I think he did did he?". He then justifies it by blabbing out some crap about apologising if his mind's not where it should be or something equally stupid. He then calls out The Undertaker, who does his full entrance to the ring. Dave was staring at 'Taker as if he loved him as he walked to the ring. I was really scared that he was going to rip The Undertaker's clothes off and make him sit on his face. Thank God William Regal came out to interrupt what could easily have elevated into two grown men humping within the next 5 seconds.
The tag champs only got squashed because Batista and Taker were so overcome with testosterone that they would have been unstoppable in that ring. No jerkface, not THAT ring.
But what good have we seen from the talent swapping as of late? Well, obviously, as was evident last night, Batista's sucky mic-work is now broadcast live and un-edited. What better way to open Raw last night, than to hear a former sex-addict grunting into a microphone...
"Uruuagghhhh!...
Ohhhh! YEAHHH!
Ughh!
It's good to be back on RAW!"
I record all wrestling and watch it in my own time. I tend to skip promos (Especially Dave's) and watch matches if they have good wrestlers in them. But for some reason, I thought about Dave's BASKETBALL rant a few weeks ago and could actually sense gold coming from Dave's verbal diarrhoea.
When explaining the concept of Hell in a Cell, Batista tells us that "Weapons aren't only welcomed.... [looooooooooooong pause]........ They're allowed". GENIUS. In the long pause, you could see that Dave realised that he just used his punchline in his set-up. He looked as if he'd shat himself. Then, as he eventually got the final line out, if you watch it frame-by-frame, you can actually pin-point the exact second where Batista swallows his pride to deliver the last line so coyly. He then held his nose and covered his face, as if he had a stress headache. He didn't move for 5 seconds as he gave people watching time to digest what he actually just said and ask each other "He didn't just say what I think he did did he?". He then justifies it by blabbing out some crap about apologising if his mind's not where it should be or something equally stupid. He then calls out The Undertaker, who does his full entrance to the ring. Dave was staring at 'Taker as if he loved him as he walked to the ring. I was really scared that he was going to rip The Undertaker's clothes off and make him sit on his face. Thank God William Regal came out to interrupt what could easily have elevated into two grown men humping within the next 5 seconds.
The tag champs only got squashed because Batista and Taker were so overcome with testosterone that they would have been unstoppable in that ring. No jerkface, not THAT ring.
Sunday, 21 October 2007
Too Used
So news broke this week that TNA were in talks with Brian Lawler and Scott Garland. AKA Royal Rumble 2000 interval act - Too Cool.
TNA obviously believe that tag team wrestling isn't dead yet. But they'll do everything in their power to make sure it happens. Why not hire a criminal to do this? And when that fails to kill the tag division, stick to what you're good at and continue re-hiring former WWE and WCW "talent".
Click the thumbnail for this week's comic strip...
When TNA realises how to be good, WWE will pick up its' game and finally be good. The result? Fans win!
TNA obviously believe that tag team wrestling isn't dead yet. But they'll do everything in their power to make sure it happens. Why not hire a criminal to do this? And when that fails to kill the tag division, stick to what you're good at and continue re-hiring former WWE and WCW "talent".
Click the thumbnail for this week's comic strip...
When TNA realises how to be good, WWE will pick up its' game and finally be good. The result? Fans win!
Wednesday, 10 October 2007
To be the man...
So Ric Flair's not been around for a while. He's at loggerheads with Vince over plans for his retirement angle.
Some media sources in Carolina are even describing him as a "retired professional wrestler".
But why is he upset? Let's look back to when we last saw Space Mountain himself.
It was on Smackdown. And he jobbed for someone. Not just anybody though. It was the Great Khali. It was the debut of the head squish of doom. WWE creative decided to make a living legend job to the worst move of all time in order to put Khali over.
(Click here to see the image properly)
No wonder Ric's not been on TV for a while. He has self-respect.
Some media sources in Carolina are even describing him as a "retired professional wrestler".
But why is he upset? Let's look back to when we last saw Space Mountain himself.
It was on Smackdown. And he jobbed for someone. Not just anybody though. It was the Great Khali. It was the debut of the head squish of doom. WWE creative decided to make a living legend job to the worst move of all time in order to put Khali over.
(Click here to see the image properly)
No wonder Ric's not been on TV for a while. He has self-respect.
Wednesday, 3 October 2007
HALLELUJAH!
In mental circumstances, John Cena has been stripped of the WWE title after over a year with the strap.
Mick Foley always said that the most painful looking moves are usually the least painful to actually take and vice versa. It comes as no surprise then, that John Cena is out of action for up to a year because of a hip toss.
It's sad to see such a major injury happen in the ring (HIS MUSCLE WAS TORN FROM THE BONE) regardless of the person it happens to.
So what of the WWE title now?
There will be a title match to crown a new champion at No Mercy on sunday night. My guess is that this match will be between Randy Orton and hopefully, fingers crossed, I really hope so, a returning Chris Jericho. But Jericho as a face? Possibly. He was cheered when he first arrived at the WWF when he was talking trash on the company's biggest face.
I usually avoid paying for PPVs as Sky tend to put only the Big Four on Box Office while the rest are on SkySports. WHY IS NO MERCY ON BOX OFFICE?!
Yargh. £15 to see Y2J's return. He's worth it. I'll even avoid wrestling sites the day after to make sure that I see his return as if it were live.
Jesus I'm such a mark.
Mick Foley always said that the most painful looking moves are usually the least painful to actually take and vice versa. It comes as no surprise then, that John Cena is out of action for up to a year because of a hip toss.
It's sad to see such a major injury happen in the ring (HIS MUSCLE WAS TORN FROM THE BONE) regardless of the person it happens to.
So what of the WWE title now?
There will be a title match to crown a new champion at No Mercy on sunday night. My guess is that this match will be between Randy Orton and hopefully, fingers crossed, I really hope so, a returning Chris Jericho. But Jericho as a face? Possibly. He was cheered when he first arrived at the WWF when he was talking trash on the company's biggest face.
I usually avoid paying for PPVs as Sky tend to put only the Big Four on Box Office while the rest are on SkySports. WHY IS NO MERCY ON BOX OFFICE?!
Yargh. £15 to see Y2J's return. He's worth it. I'll even avoid wrestling sites the day after to make sure that I see his return as if it were live.
Jesus I'm such a mark.
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