Tuesday, 13 November 2007


So since I last wrote, Smackdown and ECW have openly been trading talent. However, what nobody's announced is how Smackdown talent is showing up on Raw. Rumours are abound of the abolition of talent-exclusive brands. If this is true, then it's fantastic. It would mean that anybody could pop up at any time on any show. It would also boost ratings if storylines can be shown over two or three shows - that is to say that viewers would have to tune in to three shows a week rather than just one to see progressions in storylines with their favourite wrestlers. Bonus time.

But what good have we seen from the talent swapping as of late? Well, obviously, as was evident last night, Batista's sucky mic-work is now broadcast live and un-edited. What better way to open Raw last night, than to hear a former sex-addict grunting into a microphone...


Ohhhh! YEAHHH!


It's good to be back on RAW!"

I record all wrestling and watch it in my own time. I tend to skip promos (Especially Dave's) and watch matches if they have good wrestlers in them. But for some reason, I thought about Dave's BASKETBALL rant a few weeks ago and could actually sense gold coming from Dave's verbal diarrhoea.

When explaining the concept of Hell in a Cell, Batista tells us that "Weapons aren't only welcomed.... [looooooooooooong pause]........ They're allowed". GENIUS. In the long pause, you could see that Dave realised that he just used his punchline in his set-up. He looked as if he'd shat himself. Then, as he eventually got the final line out, if you watch it frame-by-frame, you can actually pin-point the exact second where Batista swallows his pride to deliver the last line so coyly. He then held his nose and covered his face, as if he had a stress headache. He didn't move for 5 seconds as he gave people watching time to digest what he actually just said and ask each other "He didn't just say what I think he did did he?". He then justifies it by blabbing out some crap about apologising if his mind's not where it should be or something equally stupid. He then calls out The Undertaker, who does his full entrance to the ring. Dave was staring at 'Taker as if he loved him as he walked to the ring. I was really scared that he was going to rip The Undertaker's clothes off and make him sit on his face. Thank God William Regal came out to interrupt what could easily have elevated into two grown men humping within the next 5 seconds.

The tag champs only got squashed because Batista and Taker were so overcome with testosterone that they would have been unstoppable in that ring. No jerkface, not THAT ring.

1 comment:

Toby said...

Mate, I don't even watch wrestling but I don't think you need to to enjoy your blog! It's so hard to write comedy. Write a book?