Friday, 2 May 2008

Two Months?!

Yes. It's almost been two months since I last posted anything. The reason for this has been that I've moved house and it's taken this long to get the internet connection up and running. Though to be honest, I'm glad it's up. Last year I had to go without the internet for my entire 6 month tenancy of a house when I decided to go with TalkTalk. SIX MONTHS. Can you believe it? I'd managed to develop social skills and everything within that time because of my sheer misfortune.

Anyway, a lot has happened in the world of wrestling since I last wrote. Well, I say a lot. A lot of comedy GOLD and one Wrestlemania.

So let's start with the big one. Wrestlemania. My goodness what immensity. From start to finish I loved it. I feel guilty that I didn't pay for it because it was so good. Money in the Bank was truly awesome. The spots were inspirational. Not that they made me want to go down B&Q and come back with a car full of ladders to play around with in the back garden though. The fact that everyone was on top of their games so much that the match we saw even happened was crazy. If everybody working in the World banks was at that point in their careers, we'd all be a bit better off. The spots were all insane but full of logic too. Things like Johnny Nitro (They're called 'Opal Fruits' too you know) stepping onto the ladder leaning onto the turnbuckle and just riding it to another ladder. Incredible but making sense too.

The fact that CM Punk won was the culmination of scores of mark-out moments for me throughout the entire match. An incredible match that made me forget about the reality of wrestling so many times. I loved it because it took me back to how I felt watching wrestling when I was 9 or 10.

The rest of the PPV was great aswell, but to be honest, I'd rather use the rest of this blog to talk about Michael Hayes and Santino Marella.

When the story that Michael Hayes had been suspended for 60 days after Wrestlemania broke, I was shocked. But not because of what you might think. When I first read about it, I read the following:
It has been confirmed that head SmackDown writer Michael Hayes has been suspended for 60 days.

Michael Hayes has been absent since Wrestlemania, from backstage WWE. Hayes is the head writer for Smackdown. Wrestlers say Hayes is serving a 60-day suspension concerning his behavior towards a wrestler during Wrestlemania weekend. However, WWE is calling it a "vacation".

The belief backstage is that Michael Hayes got sent home for supposedly choking Carlito with wrist tape. It was meant to be a rib on Carlito, but Carlito took it as a threat to his Wrestlemania spot and threatened to show up on TNA Impact! No one knows for sure who put Hayes up to it, but the wrist tape looked like it had part of an "X" in black marker on it.

Honestly. I don't know what purpose someone would have to make that kind of thing up. The only true thing about that story is that Michael Hayes got suspended. My guess is that Damien Demento wrote it and somebody believed him. Which is the equivalent of agreeing with your town's mentalist when he tells you the leprechauns are floating off to the sky and that they're taking your corn flakes with them. ABSOLUTELY STUPID IS WHAT THAT IS MATE.

But it transpires that a good ol' boy from Georgia was a bit of a racist. On tonight's news, you'll see how the sky is blue. Apparently Dok Hendricks uses racist language all the time and that it's something you get used to when you're with him. If this is true, then it's abhorrent. Truly sickening, not that that kind of attitude exists (because let's face it, we'll never be rid of these idiots), but that that kind of attitude exists openly within a public company.

Funnily enough, since Hayes' temporary departure, things have gotten incredible on WWE TV. Firstly this week, we saw William Regal exercising what I'd like to call his HITLER CLAW. He was an absolute facist and pulled the main event. What a legend. I love him for it.

That was followed on Tuesday night by Mike Adamle pissing off. HOORAY.

And then on Friday Mick Foley made his debut on Smackdown as a commentator. That's three different shows with three reasons to not miss them. It also means that I now have three different reasons to get Sky. Which sucks. What am I? Made of money?

This week's "and finally" story is about Santino Marella getting arrested for drunk driving.

One too many Peronis saw Santino fail TWO different field sobriety tests before being taken into a cell for the night. He was released on a $500 bail while elsewhere a sigh of relief was heard from Vince McMahon who may or may not have said "Thank God it wasn't steroids".

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