Monday, 5 May 2008

They used to be called 'valets'

There was a time when the most you'd see of a woman in professional wrestling was as the girlfriend or manager of a wrestler. A 'valet' if you will.

It should come as no great surprise, or indeed leap of logic, to find out that WWE's own Ashley Massaro is implicated in a recent bust of a high profile escort agency by the FBI. For the real smarks I'd put a joke here about Little Guido and co.

Rolling Stone magazine were responsible for making sure that discretion was actually not assured with this escort agency.

Usually the escorts are victims of ruthless pimps. So at the risk of making this blog look like a rip off of "The Smoking Gun", let's look at the pimp.

Her name is Michelle Braun, and to be a client of her agency, you need to pay a $5,000 deposit. $2,500 of that is paid when you apply for membership. That's before you even get to meet a pornstar/Playboy model/person-who-thinks-they-can-wrestle-but-are-better-off-losing-on-reality-shows.

I'd feel severely ripped off paying that kind of extortionate money for a woman and Ashley showed up at my hotel room. It's the equivalent of buying a pack of crisps, only to realise as soon as you open it that there are only four crisps in it.

Every time I see Ashley on my TV I throw whatever food I have within reach at the screen in the vain hope that it would somehow break through the glass, travel through space and time and transcend time zones and time delays and just land in her mouth so that she'd eat something. ANYTHING. The last time I saw bones as obvious as hers was while looking at pictures of compound fractures.

It's shocking that someone as hideous and bony as her is pushed as being the fittest thing since forever while the natural, ample curves of Beth Phoenix are portrayed as being those of a massive, powerful beastcow.

Ashley was quick to defend herself on her own blog.
Just got buzzed on some BS that is going around. Dont believe it for a second.
Getting in touch with my lawyer as we speak.

Bless. I don't know what she thinks she's going to sue for. I don't think it counts as libel or defamation if it's merely stating fact. She seems quite embarrassed by the whole thing. Which is odd. Because it means she's essentially saying "I take my clothes off for cash" but draws the line at sleeping with people for cash. But that's where she misunderstands the loophole. She must be an awful escort. Imagine if the cops busted her while she was "on the job". What's she going to do, fess up or use the age-old loophole of saying that the bloke she's with is paying for her time and not her sex? Judging from her reaction to being named by Rolling Stone, she'll probably do the former.

In the end it all boils down to the phrase that everybody should live their lives by: Don't do anything you wouldn't want your mother finding out about.

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