Thursday, 28 February 2008

Don't tell anyone Brutha!

So America's biggest rumour mill with credibility (somehow), The National Enquirer, has come out with the news that the Hulkster laid a (middle) leg drop on a woman who wasn't Linda.

Christiane Plant, a 33 year old who worked with Brooke on her music career was the lucky lady to find out what it feels like to have a 250 pound (though he was actually more like 800 pounds) orange bloke dropped on you from a height of six inches.

Apparently their affair took place last year at a time when Linda and Hulk knew their marriage was a sham being upheld for the sake of the longevity of their TV show. Who knew that The Orange One had a third "twenty four inch python" kept in his pants?

So when the guilt of going behind everyone's backs got too much for Christiane, what did she do? Write a letter to the person she had an affair with's daughter.


Of all the things to do when you have an affair with someone, top of the list is most definitely "notify next of kin". What? How bloody stupid must you be to do that? Really. Higher on the list of things to do when you have an affair with someone and start feeling guilt is to place your genitals into a raging chemical fire. I'm sure she's got a great way to justify her blatant stupidity though:

"Oh I'm sorry, I always mistake riding The Hulkster with finding a dead body"

Fair enough. I imagine that all those "vitamins and prayers" that Hulk got called in to testify against Vince for in the early 90s make every single one of The Orange One's muscles feel relaxed these days. Unlike Jerry Lawler whose own, chemical brand of "vitamins and prayers" keep him going like a terrier five times a night. That is until you leave him after he's quit his job for you and then demand half of his money. In which case, him going limp is justified.

Anyway, I digress. The point is, this unknown woman told Brooke Hogan that she had an affair with her dad. I suppose that that kind of daft action isn't that surprising seeing as it came from someone who actually somehow managed to make love to a leather couch.

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