Sunday, 8 June 2008

The Wrestling Boot Band

Before I start writing this, it seems that nobody clicks on the links I put in these posts. You really should, you know. Because if you click, you get rewarded with a joke. Anyway.

I returned home from work one day to find a package waiting for me. With my Welsh address untidily scribbled onto the package by a confused American, I knew it could only be one thing...

As I ripped the cellophane off the CD, I couldn't do anything to stop myself from drawing parallels to The Orange One ripping his own shirt off.

When you listen to this album, it's unbelievable to think that it was released in 1995. That's not to say it was decades ahead of it's time. It's clearly influenced by generic music from the 1980s.

The music was written by Jimmy Hart along with The Hulkster.

The lyrics are a thing of beauty.

"I was walking down the beach, looking for some action/Had my radio set on a rap rap station/Saw a girl in trouble, a sticky situation/She wanted me to give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation"

Then, in a talking-over-the-solo type move √° la Shawn Michaels' "Hands off the merchandise", the Immortal Hulk Hogan utters the immortal line...

"Ooh, I found a new vein in my tricep"

This album, and the liner notes, completely epitomise why Hulk's heel turn was such a huge thing. The non-stop mention of Hulkamaniacs and the fact that Hulk is the most requested human being in the Make-a-wish foundation's history are why Hulk's association with the nWo made them the biggest heat magnets in wrestling for decades (and decades to come I'd imagine).

Maybe poor sales of this album are the reason WCW turned Hulk heel. Maybe Eric Bischoff thought that Hulk had made as much money as possible as a face and that the only way to milk the cash cow further was to turn him heel.

Interestingly, the liner notes give "Special Thanx" to Eric Bischoff and a convicted criminal.

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Paul said...

Bwahahah you bought it! How much did that piece of shit set you back?!

I still play those four songs I got off that website though, I'm unsure why. Like an audio tumour.

Leighsus Christ said...

All in all it came to about £8. I am ashamed.