Normal People?

What do you mean the Pro Wrestling lifestyle leaves people nuts and unbalanced? I mean, that whole "Benoit incident" was a fabrication of the mass media. Chris, Nancy, and whatshisface are living happily in Bermuda. It's just that the media is notorious for mixing up the phrases "moved with his family and started a new life" and "brutally slaughtered them in a fit of ROID RAGE".

You want a well-balanced veteran? Here's yer guy...



Damien Demento.

Damien, or 'Phil' to his mum, had a short-lived professional wrestling career which peaked in the main event of the first ever Monday Night Raw. He was in a match with The Undertaker, to whom he jobbed (You can in fact see that match here). Though if you were to call him a jobber today, he might say something along the lines of the following...



Actually, that's exactly what he'd say. Because that's him. Showing us all that he's OK despite spending several months of his life as a jobber. I do hope that he's saying what he's saying with a dash of irony. Because in all honesty, if your only offence in the biggest match of your life is throwing 4 punches, one kick and an Irish whip, then you my friend, are a jabroni of the highest order.

Someone seems to agree with me, as they created the following and posted it as a response to that very video...



I quite like other people at times like these.

He in fact has a whole string of these video blogs. You can find them here.

The comments people have left for him are wonderful.

Incidentally, I wonder if anyone will ever leave a comment on this blog.

DON'T SAY IT!

Just a quick thought about one segment on the Raw 15th anniversary show for now.

When Eric Bischoff was talking, he was interrupted by Y2J. Bischoff, in an attempt to diss Jericho, pretended to forget his name...

Bischoff: Who are you again? Chris... Chris...

Meanwhile backstage...

Sunny: OH CHRIS! WAAAAAA!!!!
Vince: DON'T SAY BENOIT...

A potential disaster. I could hear Vince's sigh of relief despite watching a recorded version of the show and being thousands of miles away.

You mean it's taped?!

I don't usually get a chance to watch Smackdown. Though this week I didn't get a chance to watch Raw, and therefore made effort to watch Smackdown this week.

Whilst watching it, I was absolutely positive that this blog would be about MVP's bouncer at his VIP lounge. When Michael Hayes made his way to the ring, said bouncer moved the velvet rope so that the Freebird (Who was obviously on the guestlist), could get into the ring. However, unlike most good bouncers, this one decided to let the patrons of the VIP lounge fight it out for some reason. Was he receiving fellatio from an underage girl who wanted access to the VIP lounge at the same time? If not, he better have an equally poor excuse.

But then the gross misconduct continues as he lets Rey Mysterio breeze past him like he was the guard at the gate on Monty Python and the Holy Grail who lets Sir Lancelot slip into the castle to slaughter thousands of wedding guests after killing his mate.

Despite this, I bet we see the bouncer next week. Hopefully though, surrounded by glamourous, scantily-clad call girls.

My main complaint about this week's Smackdown though, came in the main event. The first thing that irritated me was that Edge was disqualified for bringing a steel chair into the ring. He didn't even use it. Next week, he'll get disqualified for looking at his opponent. Then, as he and Batista stared down, the inevitable appearance of The Undertaker happened. But hang on, something seems familiar about this throat-hold-spear thing. Maybe it's something I saw last week? Yes! That's it! The same thing happened last week! Except instead of the Undertaker getting speared by Batista, the Undertaker got speared this week. No. Wait. It was something else that seemed familiar. Oh yeah, that's it. THEY USED LAST WEEK'S FOOTAGE AND PASSED IT OFF AS THIS WEEKS'.

The Undertaker held Edge by the throat, and in the split second it took for Batista to spear the dead man, Edge had miraculously changed his ring attire. Amazing! What made them do that? Why couldn't they just show the footage from that week's tapings?

STOOPID.