TNA UK

I have a sore throat and I've lost my voice. As a fan of professional wrestling, that can only mean one thing - I went to see a wrestling show last night.

As I'm sure you're aware, TNA are in the UK for the first time in the company's history. There weren't too many huge names but the fact that TNA was in town was enough to draw a near enough sell out audience of around 2,000 people to Coventry's Skydome.

My friend Rossa and I got there early in the day for the Fanzone event. A great opportunity to meet the very wrestlers we'd see in action later that night.

Petey Williams seemed very miserable and as if he didn't want to be there at all. He must have been extremely tired from the day's workout. Because there's no way you look like him without working out loads.

Sonjay Dutt seemed just as miserable. Though it was probably because the queue for evil Earl Hebner was longer than his. I'm not sure why though. He came across as a weird, creepy uncle. In fact, it looks as if I'm sat on his knee in the picture I had taken of me with him.

Our seats from the fifth row were superb. The only downside was that I was squashed over onto Rossa's lap by the fat, Canadian mark sat next to me.

The atmosphere last night was incredible. I'm used to crowds being up for it who usually go nuts at the sound of the bell, calm down a bit, then pop for spots. But last night, there was noise from start to finish. It was absolutely electric. Because I'd gone with three other stand-up comedians, it was only natural that the highlights of the evening would be us dicking around.

Some mark sat near me started his own "You screwed Bret" chant at Earl Hebner when he came out. If he was older than 4 or 5 when the Screwjob happened, then whatever, he's just holding a grudge. But this kid was mark to the max. When he relented at chanting "You screwed Bret!" all on his own, I turned to the people I was with and very loudly began my own onanistic chanting.

"SUPER DRAGON!"

I'm so funny it's untrue sometimes.

The best bit may have been during a match between LAX and Petey Williams and Sonjay Dutt. Somebody sitting directly behind me yelled "MIDGET STEINER!".

I don't know who it was, but I'm ever so thankful. They gave me the ball, and I ran with it. "MIDGET STEINER! CLAP CLAP CLAP-CLAP CLAP..." I'm sure half the arena was chanting it at one point. Hernandez was laughing it up and even Sonjay was finding it hard not to laugh at his own tag partner.

For posterity's sake, I'll mention that Kurt Angle didn't wrestle. This isn't at all surprising considering how painfully he hobbled by at the Fanzone event earlier in the day. He came out to cut a promo and introduced Jeff Jarrett to the fans. A nice little surprise considering he's not even been on TV for about a year.

The main event happened shortly after Jeremy "Hollywood" Borash (the guy's a dick, seriously) announced that TNA would be back in the UK in January. HOORAY. The main event was essentially Samoa Joe beating the crap out of Booker T to the delight of the fans. Not a classic, but a definite crowd-pleaser.

If I remember correctly, the faces went over cleanly in almost every match. Exactly what you want if you want to please the fans as much as possible. All in all, TNA definitely have their spot in the UK market and, with the best promotion, could take on WWE here.

UPDATE: In fact, it looks as though TNA are taking on WWE here. The venues for their return tour in January are huge.

Full listings here.

You'll also notice on the latest edition of TNA Today that you can hear Rossa, Brooker, Jim and myself clearly and loudly chanting "WE SOLD OUT!". Click here to watch.

Demographics

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that the main readership of this blog is the same as TNA's main demographic of viewers.

I wish it was because I was innovative (6 sided ring? OH MY!) or that I had catchphrases (it's not about weight limits... EURGHH). But it's not. I get hits to this blog the same way TNA gets viewers.

It's been no secret that the main draw of TNA in recent times has been its' women's division. And it's no secret that most people visiting this blog are looking for Candice Michelle's skanky feet. TNA's best rated demographic is men over 50. I would guess that my demographic's the same. So if you do by some miracle happen to be reading this blog and not scanning it for pictures, get your hands out of your pants and go outside.

In other news, Test coherently shared his thoughts on the return of The Ultimate Warrior in a recent MySpace blog post...

I'm not going to br sing this as a wrestling formum nyore but I will say this,,,thrE Ultimate Warirr is coming bacj, I;m 33 and barely remember who he as and thry expect the average san of to dat to remember wg..ho he is. I rememer Warior as the guy who ran to the ring he was so bown up he couln;t do anyhing in the ring,I remembr when Warrior opened up warrior university and at the ime I actually thought it was way to ake it nto pro westling yhat was until I met my idol zzzzzzzzzzzzzzbret hart and I'll never forget as long a I live brets exact words"warrior coulnn't even put youin a headlock, let alone teachyou how to put u in one. Brets gret guy who always hs a funny stry to tell. Now this story Bret told me about the Warrrior I have ahd no chuckle just disgust and wouldn't mind putting an old washedup ma i his place. as the story goes to Bret the hild who was brouht in the back because his dream was to see th Ultimate Warriop buy of course Warrior had no time for him not vrn a pvture ur an autraph and thr kids dream ws to met this piese uf shit and he went out in the crowd without a care in the worl, excuse my language but you are a 1st class piece of shit. and you think you are goinh to draw peole yu couldn't draw flys when Hogan graciouly hande you yh brlt. Younever loved wrestlinh like all of uds you wre there for thr payday and that's wy Hogan had to come baxk and yuwere wearing a singlet wit muscles painted om lke we couldnt tell u werent on the juice, there ar thoseho need juice and those that don't. You neded an iv hooked up to you. Im my mind you wanted toplay the sould00000000000000000000000000000000 you loved likemfootballand so on. You must have realized prtty quick you suckd but you could have gotten beter 000000000000000000000000000it bestwhen he tld me how was Igoimgto learn anything at wrrioys"

Erm... The only thing worth picking out of that is Test saying that there are those who need steroids, and those who don't. Considering he was fired from WWE, and then even TNA for taking steroids (seriously, how much did he have to take to get fired from TNA?!), I'm not quite sure what point he's trying to make other than he's drunk and unemployed.

The Hulkster apparently told his son Nick recently to "man up". Or as Macho Man may have put it, to "Be a Man". OOOHHHH YEAHHHHH.

Speaking of which, Jay Lethal proposed to SoCal Val recently. Not content with stealing gimmicks, TNA seem happy enough to steal entire angles. Not even low profile ones. MASSIVE angles that people won't ever forget. Vince Russo amazes me in the way that Piers Morgan does - both are completely unemployable, yet employed. Bizarre.

To finish, I'd like to tell you that I wore my Hotrod t-shirt to work one day this week. My boss was having a meeting with a bank manager. During which, as head of accounts, I was asked to bring some files and spreadsheets through. After I left, the bank manager apparently asked "Was THAT your accountant? Don't they usually wear suits?".

Ithangyew.