Happy Anniversary!
This week is the one year anniversary of Chris Benoit becoming so furious at his demotion to ECW in last year's draft that he slammed the Crippler Crossface onto both his wife and son. Neither tapped out and the result was disastrous for the public image of professional wrestling. Because this is hardly a comedy goldmine, don't expect this post to be too heavy on humour.
Having not showed up to take part in his match at Vengeance the night before citing 'family problems', it was revealed the day after that Chris Benoit and his family had been found dead. On hearing the news on that Monday afternoon, it was decided that instead of the normal Raw broadcast for that night, they'd have a show in tribute to the recently deceased Benoit made up of his greatest matches.
However, as the details of the circumstances surrounding Benoit's death became more apparent and more grisly, WWE looked to distance themselves from the whole gruesome affair. The following day, WWE released a press statement condemning Benoit and countering the buzz in the press that Benoit had killed his family in a fit of 'roid rage' - a newly-coined term to describe the red mist that periodically descends over steroid users. In countering the claim that steroids had anything to do with the deaths, WWE painted Benoit as a cold-hearted killer by stating that the nature of the deaths pointed to a calculated and pre-meditated attack.
Rather hastily, all previous mention of Benoit on WWE's website was removed. The last thing WWE would want other than to be associated with a murderer would be to be associated with a murderer who was on steroids. WWE's treatment of the whole affair should be considered despicable. There was a huge frenzy and media circus surrounding the whole story, and rather than try and calm things down, WWE's panicky reaction just made them look suspicious.
It was a case of life imitating art. In the weeks prior to Benoit's death, WWE were running one of the biggest storylines of recent years where Vince McMahon died in a limo explosion and his offices were being searched by the FBI. The irony that Benoit's death triggered an investigation into the company by the US government became all too apparent. When 11 wrestlers on WWE's books were named as customers, oh sorry, 'patients' of Signature Pharmacy, they were suspended immediately by the WWE under their Wellness Policy guidelines. A policy that was brought in after the premature death of Eddie Guerrero but only apparently employed and taken seriously after the death of Benoit.
All kinds of media outlets were publishing lists of wrestlers who'd died young in recent memory. However it must be said that their digging up of these deaths to make pro wrestling look bad is morally bankrupt. Where were the huge stories and witch hunts after each of the wrestlers on their lists died young? Oh yes, that's right, they didn't kill anyone else so it isn't that tragic.
It's unbelievable that despite the incredible amount of bad press that's wrongly been directed at WWE for steroid use that people like Gene Snitsky don't get fired. I'm convinced the guy's beaten up 50 teenagers and stolen their acne just to cover his own back with.
In summary, WWE hasn't learnt its lesson from all of this. The heat's died down on the whole Benoit-steroids thing and gone more onto the diagnosis that he went mental because of all of the concussions he's suffered over his career. But WWE still push huge, muscular guys who must struggle to keep in shape naturally.
You'd think, or at least keep a distant hope that tragedies like Benoit's would change the world. His and his family's deaths seem to have been in vain.
Showing posts with label Chris Benoit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chris Benoit. Show all posts
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
Draft Part 2
HOLY MOLY! Talk about your good TV! Last night's 3-hour RAW was incredible. Not only was there lots of wrestling, but what a cliffhanger! That's already three exclamation marks, I need to calm down.
So let's talk about the draft. ECW gaining a US champion smells a lot like their gain last year of a then recently uncrowned US Champ. If Matt Hardy had a wife, which he blatantly doesn't, she should be worried.
ECW's gaining of a belt that means something should hopefully elevate the C-show.
RAW gained a Mexican midget, two champions and every smark's favourite wrestler. Nothing of really huge note there at all really. Just a welcome change and an input of fresh talent to a show which only had viewers recently because they were being bribed.
If last night was a competition, Smackdown was definitely the night's winners.
I thought the addition of Foley to the announcers' table earlier this year was a masterstroke. Taking JR over to the blue brand is a stroke of even greater genius. JR's reportedly unhappy, and his own blog certainly backs that up with claims that he considered retiring because of it. Though to be honest, I have a feeling that JR, a wrestling traditionalist, is adding fuel to the flames of kayfabe. Joining Foley would be something I imagine both parties (that is Foley and JR), who share a mutual respect and have a genuine friendship with each other, were equally happy to do.
Jeff Hardy, Kennedy (...Kennedy), and most of all, Triple H joining Smackdown is incredible news. All three are superbly talented, and this kind of shake-up (especially Triple H's moving) are just what Smackdown needed. Raw needed it aswell to be honest. Triple H was holding people back from the main event on Raw, and he'd been doing it for years. At least on Smackdown there's nobody for him to hold back and he can reign somewhat convincingly.
The timing of all this re-shaping and moving of champions is all rather good aswell. What a coincidence that WWE's next PPV, Night of the Champions this Sunday, has all champions defending their titles. So if someone's taken their belt to a different brand, there's a chance for it all to be balanced out. If the bookers and writers feel that way, they can claim their belts back. The downside of this though is that the Main Event's result will be seen from a mile off. If Triple H beats John Cena, then Edge loses to Batista. The opposite is also true - that is that a Cena victory means an Edge win seeing as no brand can have both titles kicking about for too long while the other brand has nothing to boast of.
But what about the talking point of the evening? Vince McMahon's limo exploded! Oh wait, sorry, I mean he was injured by a sign. I apologise for that slip. But it was difficult not to do seeing as they're recycling storylines all of a sudden. Storylines from a year ago. Storylines that weren't seen through to the end. Storylines that they're going to see out to the bitter end whether it kills us or not. It must be a really good storyline seeing as they're so adamant for us to see it.
Also, today's the one year anniversary of Chris Benoit's work out rage attacks. I'll write about the implications of it later this week and reflect on how wrestling's changed.
Meanwhile, I encourage you to leave a comment with your thoughts on this year's draft.
So let's talk about the draft. ECW gaining a US champion smells a lot like their gain last year of a then recently uncrowned US Champ. If Matt Hardy had a wife, which he blatantly doesn't, she should be worried.
ECW's gaining of a belt that means something should hopefully elevate the C-show.
RAW gained a Mexican midget, two champions and every smark's favourite wrestler. Nothing of really huge note there at all really. Just a welcome change and an input of fresh talent to a show which only had viewers recently because they were being bribed.
If last night was a competition, Smackdown was definitely the night's winners.
I thought the addition of Foley to the announcers' table earlier this year was a masterstroke. Taking JR over to the blue brand is a stroke of even greater genius. JR's reportedly unhappy, and his own blog certainly backs that up with claims that he considered retiring because of it. Though to be honest, I have a feeling that JR, a wrestling traditionalist, is adding fuel to the flames of kayfabe. Joining Foley would be something I imagine both parties (that is Foley and JR), who share a mutual respect and have a genuine friendship with each other, were equally happy to do.
Jeff Hardy, Kennedy (...Kennedy), and most of all, Triple H joining Smackdown is incredible news. All three are superbly talented, and this kind of shake-up (especially Triple H's moving) are just what Smackdown needed. Raw needed it aswell to be honest. Triple H was holding people back from the main event on Raw, and he'd been doing it for years. At least on Smackdown there's nobody for him to hold back and he can reign somewhat convincingly.
The timing of all this re-shaping and moving of champions is all rather good aswell. What a coincidence that WWE's next PPV, Night of the Champions this Sunday, has all champions defending their titles. So if someone's taken their belt to a different brand, there's a chance for it all to be balanced out. If the bookers and writers feel that way, they can claim their belts back. The downside of this though is that the Main Event's result will be seen from a mile off. If Triple H beats John Cena, then Edge loses to Batista. The opposite is also true - that is that a Cena victory means an Edge win seeing as no brand can have both titles kicking about for too long while the other brand has nothing to boast of.
But what about the talking point of the evening? Vince McMahon's limo exploded! Oh wait, sorry, I mean he was injured by a sign. I apologise for that slip. But it was difficult not to do seeing as they're recycling storylines all of a sudden. Storylines from a year ago. Storylines that weren't seen through to the end. Storylines that they're going to see out to the bitter end whether it kills us or not. It must be a really good storyline seeing as they're so adamant for us to see it.
Also, today's the one year anniversary of Chris Benoit's work out rage attacks. I'll write about the implications of it later this week and reflect on how wrestling's changed.
Meanwhile, I encourage you to leave a comment with your thoughts on this year's draft.
Labels:
Chris Benoit,
CM PUNK,
Death,
ECW,
Jeff Hardy,
Jim Ross,
Mick Foley,
Mr. Kennedy,
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RAW,
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Triple H,
Vince McMahon,
Wrestling,
WRESTLING RUMOR,
Wrestling Scandal,
WWE,
WWE Draft
Saturday, 21 June 2008
The Draft
It seems inevitable that, as a pro wrestling writer, I have to make predictions for this monday's WWE Draft.
Lance Storm had some pretty good ideas on his blog earlier this week. Getting Triple H onto Smackdown would be a great way of shaking things up. But to be honest, his dislike of working on Tuesdays has been documented in the past and would certainly get in the way of making WWE TV interesting again. A feud between Triple H and Edge would be spectacular.
ECW's affiliation with Smackdown will be coming to a head next month when it jumps over to be the supporting cast for RAW. This is excellent news for CM Punk marks like myself. A call up to the Raw roster would be excellent for such a talented wrestler. Sticking about on ECW and using his Money in the Bank contract to win the third rate title would be a waste and would devalue the MITB match at Wrestlemania. Why would the wrestlers in the MITB match put everything on the line just to win the chance at the ECW title? They may as well just stick about and job to main eventers for ten years if they wanted that opportunity.
If last year's draft is anything to go by, then it should be about two weeks until the re-shaping of the roster causes an entire re-shaping of the industry and the removal of a human being from history. I would be worried if I was married to somebody who was drafted to ECW tomorrow.
Light on jokes this week perhaps, though my next entry will be looking at the death of Chris Benoit and how the entire wrestling industry has changed in the last year. So you know, more jokes are to be had in the next blog for sure!
Lance Storm had some pretty good ideas on his blog earlier this week. Getting Triple H onto Smackdown would be a great way of shaking things up. But to be honest, his dislike of working on Tuesdays has been documented in the past and would certainly get in the way of making WWE TV interesting again. A feud between Triple H and Edge would be spectacular.
ECW's affiliation with Smackdown will be coming to a head next month when it jumps over to be the supporting cast for RAW. This is excellent news for CM Punk marks like myself. A call up to the Raw roster would be excellent for such a talented wrestler. Sticking about on ECW and using his Money in the Bank contract to win the third rate title would be a waste and would devalue the MITB match at Wrestlemania. Why would the wrestlers in the MITB match put everything on the line just to win the chance at the ECW title? They may as well just stick about and job to main eventers for ten years if they wanted that opportunity.
If last year's draft is anything to go by, then it should be about two weeks until the re-shaping of the roster causes an entire re-shaping of the industry and the removal of a human being from history. I would be worried if I was married to somebody who was drafted to ECW tomorrow.
Light on jokes this week perhaps, though my next entry will be looking at the death of Chris Benoit and how the entire wrestling industry has changed in the last year. So you know, more jokes are to be had in the next blog for sure!
Labels:
Chris Benoit,
CM PUNK,
ECW,
Edge,
Lance Storm,
MITB,
Nancy Benoit,
RAW,
Smackdown,
Triple H,
WWE,
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Thursday, 24 January 2008
Drinkin' and rasslin'
I've not written anything about wrestling in so long because let's face it, nothing's happened recently.
But then yesterday, shock of all shocks (and I genuinely mean that), Bobby Lashley leaves WWE and poops upon the booking of the Royal Rumble match from a great height. But I'm not going to write a blog on Bobby because he's so dull.
Instead, because wrestling has been so boring as of late, I've devised ways of enjoying wrestling regardless of the quality.
1. The Hulkamania drinking game
So, bruther, whenever it's that time of year when The Hulkster makes his annual-but-they-sell-it-like-it's-once-a-decade appearance in the WWE, he will undoubtedly cut a promo. All you have to do is drink a shot of your choice, everytime The Orange One says "Bruther", bruther. Then when he does his trademark poses, the last person to join in has to finish their drink. YES.
2. The Vintage WCW drinking game
Sometimes, because wrestling on TV is so poor, you might want to put some old VHS stuff that, at the time, you remember as being absolute quality - the best wrestling you've ever seen. So you put it on and watch some old WCW. In this game, you have to finish your drink every time a foreign wrestler gets buried.
3. The Steroids or Work-out Drinking game
You may have noticed a pattern being established by now that my method of enjoying the current state of wrestling includes alcohol and watching tapes of old matches. This game is fun because you get to chant things as a group.
"Roids or work out! Roids or work out! [Enter wrestler's name] YOU decide"
At which point, a pre-designated person decides if someone's on steroids or not. You go around everyone one at a time as the guesser. If they say what the general consensus of the rest of the group is, then everyone has a shot. If they disagree with the general consensus of the rest of the group, then they alone must finish their drink.
The consensus of the group need not be sensible. If the group declares that CM Punk is a Juicefreak after the guesser says he's not, then the guesser must drink up.
4. The Royal Rumble Second Guess Game
Because it's seasonal, I thought I'd throw in a Rumble game for you all for next sunday. At the 10 second countdown, everyone guesses who's about to enter. If you get it wrong, then guess what? Yup, you get to stop being thirsty.
Alternatively, you can do the same with an old Rumble. If you guess a wrestler who's now dead and get it wrong, you finish your drink. If you guess a wrestler who's dead and get it right, then you take a shot.
By now, you should be stupidly drunk. I mean REALLY drunk. So what better way to finish off a night of watching wrestling than with my favourite wrestling drinking game...
5. The "Please stop! Oh the humanity" drinking game
For this game, you will need a DVD or VHS that includes at least one Chris Benoit match. Whenever Benoit puts his opponent in any kind of hold (be it Crippler Crossface or hammerlock), then you have to scream and wail and beg for him to stop. My personal recommendation for this game is Chris Benoit v. Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania X-Seven just for the sheer amount of shoot-style holds employed. Really beg for him to stop it, lest Angle end up like Nancy and Daniel (Rumour has it that Nancy was killed by a mere side headlock).
So there you go, my recommendations on enjoying wrestling again. If you play any of these games, please take pictures of the aftermath.
But then yesterday, shock of all shocks (and I genuinely mean that), Bobby Lashley leaves WWE and poops upon the booking of the Royal Rumble match from a great height. But I'm not going to write a blog on Bobby because he's so dull.
Instead, because wrestling has been so boring as of late, I've devised ways of enjoying wrestling regardless of the quality.
1. The Hulkamania drinking game
So, bruther, whenever it's that time of year when The Hulkster makes his annual-but-they-sell-it-like-it's-once-a-decade appearance in the WWE, he will undoubtedly cut a promo. All you have to do is drink a shot of your choice, everytime The Orange One says "Bruther", bruther. Then when he does his trademark poses, the last person to join in has to finish their drink. YES.
2. The Vintage WCW drinking game
Sometimes, because wrestling on TV is so poor, you might want to put some old VHS stuff that, at the time, you remember as being absolute quality - the best wrestling you've ever seen. So you put it on and watch some old WCW. In this game, you have to finish your drink every time a foreign wrestler gets buried.
3. The Steroids or Work-out Drinking game
You may have noticed a pattern being established by now that my method of enjoying the current state of wrestling includes alcohol and watching tapes of old matches. This game is fun because you get to chant things as a group.
"Roids or work out! Roids or work out! [Enter wrestler's name] YOU decide"
At which point, a pre-designated person decides if someone's on steroids or not. You go around everyone one at a time as the guesser. If they say what the general consensus of the rest of the group is, then everyone has a shot. If they disagree with the general consensus of the rest of the group, then they alone must finish their drink.
The consensus of the group need not be sensible. If the group declares that CM Punk is a Juicefreak after the guesser says he's not, then the guesser must drink up.
4. The Royal Rumble Second Guess Game
Because it's seasonal, I thought I'd throw in a Rumble game for you all for next sunday. At the 10 second countdown, everyone guesses who's about to enter. If you get it wrong, then guess what? Yup, you get to stop being thirsty.
Alternatively, you can do the same with an old Rumble. If you guess a wrestler who's now dead and get it wrong, you finish your drink. If you guess a wrestler who's dead and get it right, then you take a shot.
By now, you should be stupidly drunk. I mean REALLY drunk. So what better way to finish off a night of watching wrestling than with my favourite wrestling drinking game...
5. The "Please stop! Oh the humanity" drinking game
For this game, you will need a DVD or VHS that includes at least one Chris Benoit match. Whenever Benoit puts his opponent in any kind of hold (be it Crippler Crossface or hammerlock), then you have to scream and wail and beg for him to stop. My personal recommendation for this game is Chris Benoit v. Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania X-Seven just for the sheer amount of shoot-style holds employed. Really beg for him to stop it, lest Angle end up like Nancy and Daniel (Rumour has it that Nancy was killed by a mere side headlock).
So there you go, my recommendations on enjoying wrestling again. If you play any of these games, please take pictures of the aftermath.
Thursday, 20 December 2007
Normal People?
What do you mean the Pro Wrestling lifestyle leaves people nuts and unbalanced? I mean, that whole "Benoit incident" was a fabrication of the mass media. Chris, Nancy, and whatshisface are living happily in Bermuda. It's just that the media is notorious for mixing up the phrases "moved with his family and started a new life" and "brutally slaughtered them in a fit of ROID RAGE".
You want a well-balanced veteran? Here's yer guy...

Damien Demento.
Damien, or 'Phil' to his mum, had a short-lived professional wrestling career which peaked in the main event of the first ever Monday Night Raw. He was in a match with The Undertaker, to whom he jobbed (You can in fact see that match here). Though if you were to call him a jobber today, he might say something along the lines of the following...
Actually, that's exactly what he'd say. Because that's him. Showing us all that he's OK despite spending several months of his life as a jobber. I do hope that he's saying what he's saying with a dash of irony. Because in all honesty, if your only offence in the biggest match of your life is throwing 4 punches, one kick and an Irish whip, then you my friend, are a jabroni of the highest order.
Someone seems to agree with me, as they created the following and posted it as a response to that very video...
I quite like other people at times like these.
He in fact has a whole string of these video blogs. You can find them here.
The comments people have left for him are wonderful.
Incidentally, I wonder if anyone will ever leave a comment on this blog.
You want a well-balanced veteran? Here's yer guy...
Damien Demento.
Damien, or 'Phil' to his mum, had a short-lived professional wrestling career which peaked in the main event of the first ever Monday Night Raw. He was in a match with The Undertaker, to whom he jobbed (You can in fact see that match here). Though if you were to call him a jobber today, he might say something along the lines of the following...
Actually, that's exactly what he'd say. Because that's him. Showing us all that he's OK despite spending several months of his life as a jobber. I do hope that he's saying what he's saying with a dash of irony. Because in all honesty, if your only offence in the biggest match of your life is throwing 4 punches, one kick and an Irish whip, then you my friend, are a jabroni of the highest order.
Someone seems to agree with me, as they created the following and posted it as a response to that very video...
I quite like other people at times like these.
He in fact has a whole string of these video blogs. You can find them here.
The comments people have left for him are wonderful.
Incidentally, I wonder if anyone will ever leave a comment on this blog.
Labels:
Chris Benoit,
Damien Demento,
Demento,
Steroids,
WWE
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