Demographics

I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that the main readership of this blog is the same as TNA's main demographic of viewers.

I wish it was because I was innovative (6 sided ring? OH MY!) or that I had catchphrases (it's not about weight limits... EURGHH). But it's not. I get hits to this blog the same way TNA gets viewers.

It's been no secret that the main draw of TNA in recent times has been its' women's division. And it's no secret that most people visiting this blog are looking for Candice Michelle's skanky feet. TNA's best rated demographic is men over 50. I would guess that my demographic's the same. So if you do by some miracle happen to be reading this blog and not scanning it for pictures, get your hands out of your pants and go outside.

In other news, Test coherently shared his thoughts on the return of The Ultimate Warrior in a recent MySpace blog post...

I'm not going to br sing this as a wrestling formum nyore but I will say this,,,thrE Ultimate Warirr is coming bacj, I;m 33 and barely remember who he as and thry expect the average san of to dat to remember wg..ho he is. I rememer Warior as the guy who ran to the ring he was so bown up he couln;t do anyhing in the ring,I remembr when Warrior opened up warrior university and at the ime I actually thought it was way to ake it nto pro westling yhat was until I met my idol zzzzzzzzzzzzzzbret hart and I'll never forget as long a I live brets exact words"warrior coulnn't even put youin a headlock, let alone teachyou how to put u in one. Brets gret guy who always hs a funny stry to tell. Now this story Bret told me about the Warrrior I have ahd no chuckle just disgust and wouldn't mind putting an old washedup ma i his place. as the story goes to Bret the hild who was brouht in the back because his dream was to see th Ultimate Warriop buy of course Warrior had no time for him not vrn a pvture ur an autraph and thr kids dream ws to met this piese uf shit and he went out in the crowd without a care in the worl, excuse my language but you are a 1st class piece of shit. and you think you are goinh to draw peole yu couldn't draw flys when Hogan graciouly hande you yh brlt. Younever loved wrestlinh like all of uds you wre there for thr payday and that's wy Hogan had to come baxk and yuwere wearing a singlet wit muscles painted om lke we couldnt tell u werent on the juice, there ar thoseho need juice and those that don't. You neded an iv hooked up to you. Im my mind you wanted toplay the sould00000000000000000000000000000000 you loved likemfootballand so on. You must have realized prtty quick you suckd but you could have gotten beter 000000000000000000000000000it bestwhen he tld me how was Igoimgto learn anything at wrrioys"

Erm... The only thing worth picking out of that is Test saying that there are those who need steroids, and those who don't. Considering he was fired from WWE, and then even TNA for taking steroids (seriously, how much did he have to take to get fired from TNA?!), I'm not quite sure what point he's trying to make other than he's drunk and unemployed.

The Hulkster apparently told his son Nick recently to "man up". Or as Macho Man may have put it, to "Be a Man". OOOHHHH YEAHHHHH.

Speaking of which, Jay Lethal proposed to SoCal Val recently. Not content with stealing gimmicks, TNA seem happy enough to steal entire angles. Not even low profile ones. MASSIVE angles that people won't ever forget. Vince Russo amazes me in the way that Piers Morgan does - both are completely unemployable, yet employed. Bizarre.

To finish, I'd like to tell you that I wore my Hotrod t-shirt to work one day this week. My boss was having a meeting with a bank manager. During which, as head of accounts, I was asked to bring some files and spreadsheets through. After I left, the bank manager apparently asked "Was THAT your accountant? Don't they usually wear suits?".

Ithangyew.

One Weirdo Nation pt. II

I couldn't have predicted it myself. But my sudden increase in posting on this here blog has increased traffic.

However, the way people are finding this blog is bizarre. Most people are looking for pictures of Candice Michelle's skanky foot fetish alter ego Mackenzie Montgomery or Christiane Plant - aka The Hulkster's new tag team partner.

The week started off well with me getting hits from Google from the phrase "Khali killing wrestler". But it slowly descended into an onslaught of searches for an old wrestler's mistress. Until this post, I've not had any pictures of her on this blog. The huge majority of those searches for her picture came through Yahoo and not Google. 'Yahoo' is not a verb for a reason.

Special mention goes to the weirdos who searched for "ashley massaro implicated in escort service busted by the fbi". Something tells me they want very specific results from their searches. Either that or they've not used a search engine before.

So to conclude, if you're reading this, you're either someone with a foot fetish who's out of luck, or a retard.

Happy hunting ya pervs!

Wrestling's Latest Scandal

I'm currently in shock from seeing the evidence of the latest wrestling scandal.

I can't actually bring myself to face facts. The evidence I've seen so far is possibly of the most bizarre thing to have ever happened in wrestling history. Even more bizarre than Robocop saving Sting's life.

Candice Michelle used to be a foot fetish model named Mackenzie Montgomery.

Look, here she is showing us how disgusting and salty her feet are...



But it gets further and FAR creepier than that...







See what I mean?

It's the creepiest video I've ever seen. It's made even better by the fact that a WWE Diva is the main event. It's so bizarre. Her "husband" asks her how work was and she replies by saying "It was so tough at the club today". Dressed as she is. She's a stripper. I'm not going to write a blog about poor dialogue or characterisation though because that video has far more gold in it.

"You have remarkable-looking feet" chirps the bloke. As if they've just met. Before continuing by sounding like a teenage girl: "Your feet are just sooooooo pretty".

My face is glued to my monitor.

"Your feet look so... they really turn me o... Do you mind if I suck on your toes a little bit? It's been such a long time"

I'm sure every stripper who's ever watched this video has thought "Yeah. That's what I need to make my feet better after a hard night's dancing - some guy who looks like he could be my brother making my feet wet".

"Mmm..." He licks his lips. "Hmmm..." he does it again. Still in cheerleader mode: "Mmm... your soles taste good!". I'll give him credit for being better at acting than her.

Of all the perversions though, this one baffles me. I have no idea why you'd be into it. Though by the end of the video, the pieces fall into place. White socks, black shoes? BINGO.

This news has come to life because The Wrestling News Desk has posted pictures which are a little bit more graphic than that. And according to reports, even more graphic than her Playboy shots. But at the time I'm posting this blog, the site's down. Presumably because of high traffic thanks to this story.

You mean to say that a WWE Diva is a slut? Well shucks. I could never tell from the way they all look!

I then found another video on YouTube.

Click here to see it because the person who uploaded it has blocked it from being embedded.

It features Candice and another ho talking about their feet to a creepy QVC soundtrack. That's all they do is talk. With the camera zooming in and out on their feet while the most terrible, generic (and most probably copyright-free), music plays in the background.

"I have size 10 feet"

JEEZUM CROW. Talk about Attack of the 50ft Woman!

"And you know what they say about people with big feet..."

They have really slack vaginas?

"They wear really big shoes"

On the day that this passes as entertainment, Ronnie Barker is glad he's dead.